PALE LIGHT OF THE SUN

I’m going back
to my lame life
I’ll never love again

Leaves on the porch
I don’t sweep it anymore
close the door

The friends that I had
don’t come around
I don’t need them anyhow
I’ve got me to keep me down
 
In the pale light of the sun
through all the dust
chained as I must
to being free
can’t you see me
I’m crying

I’m going back  
I can’t be all  
that you wanted me to be
just like a gramophone
singing to an empty hall
I sing alone

And lonely as I sound
grey in a bright crowd
I’ve got me to keep me down

In the pale light of the sun
through all the dust
chained as I must
to being free
can’t you see me
I’m crying

And I’m going back  
to my lame life
I’ll never love again

INDIAN SUMMER

I was loved
loved by a thief
he couldn’t keep
his hands off me
he stole my throat
I couldn’t cry
blue fingertips, 
no alibi

And when the indian summer has come
I will fall
after all, you know I’m a fool

I was loved
loved by a creep
he couldn’t keep
his eyes on me
he left my hands
colder than snow
so I will go where the sun
spins my clothes

Where the indian summer has come
and I will fall
after all, you know I’m a fool

but you know I keep trying to get back to June
you know I keep trying to get back to June

I was loved
loved with a love
heavy as gravity  
tight as a knot
he tied my hair
to the post of my bed
I cut it all off  
to free up my head

And when the indian summer has come
I will fall
after all, you know I’m a fool

DEAD BIRD

There’s a road in the rain
littered with clouds
but I’m dry as your cheek
as you led me out
how lonely I feel
 
Toss me aside
like broken glass
or a cellophane wrapper
around a cigarette pack
how lonely I feel
 
And it’s too late
it’s a sad fate
black as a funeral line
and there’s a dead bird
lying the dust
you turned your head in disgust

Said I was happy  
in the San Andreas fault
but the crack in my voice
might say it all
how lonely I feel

And it’s too late  
it’s a sad fate
black as a funeral line

And there’s a dead bird  
lying in the dust
you turned your head in disgust

I’ll Be Your Man in the Morning
I’ll be your man in the morning
‘til the end
If you were drowning I’d into your bed

Born in the summer

Born in the summer
born in the summer
my mother hoped I would be someone
I wish that I was someone

Made it through the winter
made it through my teens
I had a sadness called aging
I had a sadness to be free
 
Someday soon
someday soon

I fought against a darkness
fought against a darkness
it took a blinding flash of light
to see my eyes were closed
 
Someday soon
someday soon

still life

Take you everywhere with me
I’m not even on your mind
drive you to the coast
I’m not even on your mind

Still life, hanging on
your wall
hanging on
you don’t see me at all

she makes your bed in the morning
I’m the painting on the wall
smiles at me sadly
because I’m not even on your mind

I’m blue, hanging on
your wall
hanging on
you don’t see me at all

and the vase is broken
all the water’s gone
wasted flowers cut dead alone
there’s a lot of light in the kitchen
but this shadow is long

and I was only living upon your wall
I was only living upon your wall

 

 

 

 

 

white daisy, lace gloves

I learned to write  
and how to dress myself up nice  
learned big words  
To prove that I was right

I lost the pen  
I lost the dress  
I lost the fight  
I've been learning how to lose  
My whole life

June gloom  
Since we've been apart  
And it's too soon  
To run back to your arms

I could go to the graveyard  
To find your remains  
Steal back your skull white  
Cause I miss your face

White daisy, lace gloves                           
Why do, I do  
I long for you  
Why do I?
I was born to lose
 
The bell has rung
The birds have flown
Summers gone
I have taken all that i can hold

June gloom
Since we've been apart
It's too soon
To run back to your arms

White daisy, lace gloves
Why do, i do
Long for you
Why do i ?
I was born to lose
 
Let loose the daisies  
Let loose the skull  
Light as a baby  
My baby has gone  
My baby has gone


CINNAMON & DUST

I lost myself without a looking glass
I don’t know what I am
you made a beast of yourself
to lose the pain
of being a man

I wore the red dress that you love
you said it smells of  
cinnamon and dust

cinnamon & dust
cinnamon & dust
call me what you want
i’m too far gone

I’ll sing a song for salvation
I’ll sing of some forgotten sea
sing it for the man you were
I won’t forget the man you’ve become
 
My mother broke
she burned to smoke
left some vacant, amber eyes
I found love in brandywine
we drowned in whiskey
seaweed and brine

Whiskey and brine
whiskey and brine
call me what you want
I’m too far gone
 
and standing there on the battlement
I felt no cold or ache or pain
just the sky in crimson
smelled sweet jasmine
and the heat of rain

Jasmine and rain
jasmine and rain
call me what you want
I’m too far gone

To be sad

I’ve seen a skull white
laid in the sunlight
smiling dead eyes
I'm alive, but I'm crying

 
then you asked me what
do i have to be sad for
i know that it’s not right
cause i live like a king now

and i’m perfect as a scar
sunnier than the dark
but I’ve known from the start
i will lose
i will lose  
i will lose it all

diamonds are black coals
crushed by the worlds hold
if i held my black lungs  
i could turn to gold

and you asked me what
do i have to be sad for
i know that it’s not right
cause i live like a king now
 
and i’m perfect as a scar
sunnier than the dark
but i’ve known from the start
i will lose  
i will lose
i will lose it all

black and white

I used to live life in color
until I drowned in the blue
erase the red lines of failure
from my last tattoo

Goodbye, I’ve gone
back to black and white
too far from heaven
to live in the light

you never listen when I tell you
that beauty hurts my eyes
I turned away  
you are golden
thought I was going blind

Goodbye, I’ve gone
back to black and white
too far from heaven
to live in the light

Sleep to remember

You know that I dreamed you
so many years ago
then again last night
my my my

bracelet of bright hair
wrapped round your bones
more alive
than alone

there was a museum
all the floors were closed
we climbed to the roof
laid by a dead moon
over a dying earth
what are we worth? 

to everything I asked
silence answered back  
an ancient rune
I love you

I sleep to remember
who it was I was trying to forget
it was you
my my my
I love you

and we wake up to die
take off to fly

© 2016 Lael Neale